Is Hate-ish a word?

Even if it's not, I'm feeling a bit hate-ish right now.  Ever have one of those days where you just HAVE to get  crap off of your chest and it results in crying in your boss' office?

Uhhhh... yeah... um, me neither.

Since coming back to work mid-May after my GLORIOUS three month maternity leave I have simply not. been. happy.  I'm not happy at all to be back.  I feel disconnected from everything that is happening around me.  I'm keeping up with my increasing workload, but I don't know how.  Things are happening, initiatives are moving forward, plans are being made and I feel like I'm along for the ride.  I've lost control over the sheer amount of paper on my desk.  My Outlook inbox is a hot mess.  My to-do list consists of several Post-It Notes scattered randomly on every work (and non-work) surface of my desk.

What. In. The. World.

I kind of want to set fire to my workspace and start over.

I can't help but think that the chaos at home bleeds into my chaos at work and my brain is one big bundle of AAAUURRGGGHHHHH!  Add that to a new boss that I STILL don't get and expectations that I really don't understand yet and I'm a case of alcoholism waiting to happen.

Serenity now, right?

I really want to go knit something. With a large fishbowl glass of wine.

yeah...