New blog for a new life

I've created a new blog for when I begin my very own Radical Sabbatical in late December, early January.  Don't bother clickity-clicking - there's nothing too pretty to look at... yet.

Oh, did I mention that I'm pregnant?

Officially due January 8th, but I have a feeling that this will be a Christmas time baby, just like big brother AJ was.  And hey, the tax deduction surely won't hurt. Living on one income isn't going to be easy and the more I think about it, the more overwhelmed I am. My husband has a good job and makes a good salary. His earning potential isn't increasing, slowly but surely. (Not nearly as much as when he first started, but when you move from 2nd shift labor to 1st shift administration, something has to give. Unfortunately it was the paycheck!)  After all of my deductions and daycare, I bring home about $700-$800 a month, give or take.  Granted, I carry the health insurance and for all intents and purposes, it's damn good.  But in the last year it's doubled in price, and cost more out-of-pocket than ever.  And that blows.

I've mentioned before that my dream for several years has been to be a stay-at-home wife and mom.  And while I know that it's not going to last forever, I'm looking forward to it. I'm hopeful that I can stay at home until all the kids are in school full-time. By that time AJ will be graduating and will be less dependent on us, financially. (HA, RIGHT??!) I'm also hoping that within 5 years we can move so that my hubby isn't commuting so far every day. Then I can find a job wherever we land.

So, that's where my "radical sabbatical" comes in.  Hopefully 5 years, at least one year.  And we'll see. Maybe I'll decide that I hate being at home.

But somehow I doubt that. 

Unplugged

Photo lifted from Flickr here

I gave up my iPhone yesterday.

I'm not going to lie - I'm pretty pissed about it. The circumstances were not the best, all resulting from a screaming match between my husband and I. Frankly, I got really, REALLY tired of fighting for time with MY phone. It was constantly in someone else's hand/pocket/room, etc.  "Can I see your phone?" was uttered before a simple "Hello" most days.  And the fact that eyes were glued to the little glowing screen more often than looking at each other was becoming a bit unbearable.

I gave up a lot of my games/apps a few weeks ago when I felt they were all-encompassing.  Do I REALLY need to collect money from AJ's dinosaurs in his Jurassic Park game? Do I REALLY need to plant more crops on my Castle Story game? And so on, and so forth. It felt good to give up the need to constantly be checking something so stupid.  But, the need for the smooth glass screen still proves to be tough for the guys in the house.  My husband, in-particular.  And it kind of makes me sick.

The easiest thing for me to do was to give up the phone so that *I* wasn't dependent on it anymore.  Let the boys do whatever they want, but this way I won't be asking, repeatedly, where MY phone is.  Because now I have a shitty 5-year old brick basic phone. And no one gives a rip where that one is.

I'll miss checking in using Foursquare.  I'll miss posting pictures to Instagram.  Need a quick social networking at 2am during a bout of insomnia? I'll miss Facebook being so readily available.  Get lost on the way to the mall? YAY, Mapquest!  And so on, and so forth.  But, is there anything so earth shattering that I can't live without it?

Nope.

I may be pissed, but I think it's a good thing in the long run.

(Now I'm off to buy a paper calendar - WOAH! Stone ages!!)

Links of interest:

• Six Signs of iPhone Addiction
• The iPhone Killed My Creativity

Homesteading dream

This is Shelly. Or Eva.  Or "Chicken."

I have this (pipe) dream of creating my own urban homestead.  I would have some chickens, and a garden that flourishes and brings fresh bounty to the table every night.  I would be savvy enough with a sewing machine to make (some of) my own clothes.  I would sell my crafty wares on etsy to make extra money to support my family. The kids and I would be productive all day long. I will teach them the meaning of hard work, and revel in their new-found abilities to do... whatever.  They would learn to cook, love books, and know the meaning of family togetherness.

Then reality strikes and Axel has a REALLY grumpy day where I shove him in front of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood and wait for the minutes to tick by until bedtime.  My house is a mess. My garden is full of weeds and that chicken up there?  Yeah, she belongs to my neighbors. I barely feel like I have time to sit down, let alone spend quality time with my Pfaff and make ANYTHING.  And knitting?  I've got a dozen WIPs and I haven't finished anything in a few months.  And before then, probably a year!

My restlessness comes from feeling like I can't give anything 100% of my attention.  I want to do everything and have time for nothing.  Frustrating doesn't begin to cover the feeling.

My hope is that come December/January this will change.  I will find a new groove - a new life, of sorts.  New motivation. New perspective.

New, new, NEW!  Out with the old...

Polka Dot Cottage eBook Review - and Giveaway!

Ear Warmers in March, amirite?  Weird.  But not really - here in The Mitten we get all sorts of crazy weather.  It's just expected.  The same week that I finished this project in 2012, it was in the 80's.  Not so much for 2013.

Backstory:

So, my mom walks to work.  She only lives about 5 minutes away from the hospital that she's worked at for the past 23 years, but still... she's getting older (she likes to tell me) and she requested a headband/earwarmer in a bright fun color.  I just happened to be reading the Polka Dot Cottage blog around that same time, and knew that there was a pattern perfect for her needs.  Enter, the Earwarmer Trio!

Certainly not a difficult pattern, but I knew it was just enough to keep me interested with the pretty cables and fun button.  So, I set off and finished it in just a few days of lunch hour knitting in my car. (Yes, I knit in my car - sometimes a girl just needs to get away from her desk!)

Ravel it here!

I couldn't give this pattern a higher review. Easy to read, easy to follow and a great finished project.  My only issue (and it was MINE alone!) was that I used "chunky" yarn instead of "bulky" yarn and I totally didn't swatch.  I hate swatching, so more often that not I get ill-fitting accessories.  But, with the ease of writing I knew I could just cut out the middle section, be mindful of the length and all would be good.  And it was!

Mom really liked it - even though the weather warmed up and she wasn't able to wear it this season.  But, she'll be all set for this winter!  And I think I should make one for myself as well.  Maybe I'll even swatch.  But probably not.

I would highly recommend any of Lisa's patterns and ebooks.  I covet them all and wish I had more time to dedicate to learning new skills.  With books like these it's almost as good as having her with you!

Happy Fathers Day

Fathers Day was pretty low-key. Sausage stuffed eggplant for dinner and Axel got a ride on the lawnmower!

Park play!

While having our new kitchen vinyl installed, Axel and I snuck away to the park!

Good times, indeedy!

All the things...

Lots of things happening.  Not enough hours in the day to do everything I want.

Hoping to change that soon...

...

(Foreshadowing)

For now, things are plugging along. Looking forward to some fun summer weather and many other photo ops.

Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.

It's official.  Miscarriage.

*sigh*

It's okay. It's okay.  (I keep telling myself) It's okay.

I'm sad.  Disappointed.  What could have been is gone.

But it's okay.

*sigh*

It's Official

Baby R2(D2) is due on October 26th.

It's real.

We're doing it!

In other news, I've applied for a different position at the College.  It's time for me to get a move on.

Lots of change on the horizon.  LOTS.

Focus on the good

My house is a mess!
(But it's filled with love...)

I'm so tired!
(But you're spending quality time with your babies...)

I'm broke!
(Some of the best experiences cost nothing...)

I'm fat!
(You've given birth to two beautiful boys, and it's worth it...)

I hate my job!
(This too shall pass...)

It's a daily lesson.
(One day I will learn...)

I sure will miss these guys...

I've pretty much decided that after my maternity leave I won't be returning to this position.

Don't get me wrong - I've loved by 18 years here.  I really have.  This has been my "career" for half of my life.  HALF OF MY LIFE! (Oh my god, I feel so old.)  But since I've returned to work after having Axel, it feels lack-luster at best.

I kinda feel like this new dynamic in the office isn't working well for me.  I mean, I've got two Directors to report to with very different management styles - one of which I can't figure out to save my life.  Apparently I'm too loud for some people, too rude for other people, and I spend too much time doing non-work-related activities.  I'm not helpful when I should be, need an attitude adjustment on some days and am too chatty.  Basically, my personality sucks, it seems.

Really.

While all of this could be considered growing pains and getting to know new people, I've worked in this office for several years - with no problems or anything.  I can count on one hand the number of times I've been reprimanded for ANYTHING.  But lately I feel like the scrutiny is too much for me to handle.

It's no surprise to my peers that I would prefer to be a home, raising my bebe's and knitting all day.  But if I had a great place to come to work every day, it would make the separation more bearable.  Lately, it's unbearable.  And if I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant I would be job hunting right now instead of writing this blog.

Still searching for my bliss...

Countdown

So, if I were to get pregnant this month I would be due on or around October 25th.
Yeah, I did the math.

When Hubby and I got pregnant with OUR first, I told him that I wanted another straight away.  Our plan was to start trying to conceive at the end of the summer and possibly have a June 2013 baby.  At that time I would take a one-year leave of absence to see if we could cut it as a single-income family.  If all worked out, I would be a SAHM by summer 2014.  Unfortunately Hubby got cold feet in August and told me he wanted to wait a year to have another baby.  While I held it together (and continue to do so), I think I might have died a little bit on the inside.

I knew it was coming. In fact, I had already called my OB's office and ordered up a new prescription of the NuvaRing.  And I understood where he was coming from, but I sure as hell didn't like it.  AND he decided to spring it on me while we were on vacation.  Not cool.

I went back on birth control at the end of August, begrudgingly.  Immediately I noticed a difference in my body. I was grumpy, had more headaches, my periods were harder because my natural cycle is longer than the synthetic one I'm now suffering through.  I was sad - maybe even a little depressed - that our "master plan" had been pushed off.  Hubby's financial worries are valid, but the fact that I'm 36 and have a couple health hiccups that COULD impede having kids are not to be ignored.  And while I haven't really nagged him about it, I've made my concerns known.

This week he has relented and said that he's ready to move forward - ONLY if I promise that our baby won't be born in November (he couldn't handle the hunting-season guilt...)

So, here we are.  And I'm kind of scared.  Okay, really... I'm kind of petrified.

Living on one income is not going to be easy.  I need to research some stuff.  I need to get ducks in a row.  I need to start budgeting, planning, etc.

But first I need to get pregnant!  *fingers crossed for October 2013!*

The end of 333

Yesterday marked the end of my 3-month, 33 item stint.  It's weird... I can't believe that it's over already.  And today, on the first day that I could wear something different, I'm not.  (That might be testament to how lazy I am, though...)

I cheated twice.  Last month I did purchase two new pairs of pants - a pair of tan khaki pants to replace my "khaki's" that I just wasn't happy with the fit on, and a cute pair of skinny jeans that I had been coveting [the idea of].  I did wear the skinny jeans twice, along with a shirt my mom brought over and insisted I wear for our family Christmas.

I did take a picture. Sexy with my slippers, AMIRITE?

I learned a few things:

1. I haven't missed my clothes at all, until today. I really, REALLY miss a pair of black pants I have, because of their extreme pajama comfort but sleek look!
2. I need new shoes. Mine are old.
3. Less is more.
4. I need to invest in LONG pants/jeans because high-waters are not sexy.
5. I could probably get rid of 99% of my jewelry.
6. Quality over quantity.

Among other things...

I only wore each of my skirts once.  Duh, it is winter.  However, I got lots of compliments on my cute dress with my calf-boots.

While I'm not jumping right into a new Project 333, I will probably do another one in a couple months, for the spring/summer season.  And with my new found love of a simple closet, I'm going to be ruthless with integrating my old pieces again.

Purge, purge, purge!

I knitted something...

So, there was this one time where I actually finished a knitting project.  And lo, it was good.

Pattern: GAP-tastic cowl by Jen Geigley
Yarn: Lion Brand Thick & Quick, Denim
Needles: US 13
Rav it!

I've always been under this weird notion that you can't knit with "cheap" yarn.  And Lion Brand has always occurred to be as pretty darn "economical."  So, when I purchased this yarn I really didn't have any preconceived notions that I would LIKE the finished product.  I just wanted something quick and simple and since I have an abundance of yarn, I didn't want to spend a lot of moolah.

I was pleasantly surprised with my finished product.  It's squishy and soft... not scratchy at all.  And hoooooo-boy - it's freakin' warm!  I love it!  I did find a couple mistakes (I knew they were happening as I was knitting (seed stitch, ugh), but I've always been they type of knitter that pushes forward, mistakes and all.  I hate ripping out.  I wish I would have.  Seed stitch is not forgiving and I have two areas that are cray-cray.  Thankfully the cowl is large enough where I can easily hide those areas.

I do think I'd like to knit this again with a more luxurious yarn.  (Notice I didn't say "more expensive" because I've definitely had some crap yarn that cost more than a buck or two!

I hope I'm back on the knitting bandwagon.  I've considered making some crafty new years resolutions, but why set myself up for failure?!  I've got lots of things on the needles right now... maybe I should concentrate on finishing up a thing or two, eh?

Blogging from bed

Ahhhh, modern technology. Isn't it grand?

Freezing, achy and tight throat. God, I hope I can sleep this off. Such a busy week at work... I can't afford to be sick!

I leave you with... Uhhh... Something on my phone!

Happy New Year!

Totally ripped off from a Google search - original.

I'm full of hope for this here new year. 2013 is gonna be all sorts of fabulous - I just know it!

(And if not, I'm gonna kick it's ass!)

(And yes, this is all I've got for tonight. My brain is dead, my body is tired and I have to go back to work tomorrow after a glorious 10-day vacation!)  Ohhhh, why can't we have 10-day vacations every few months?!

More on the haps of the end of 2012 later. Right now this girl has to get showered and into bed. And pack a lunch... and set the alarm...

*sigh*